You kinda gotta feel a little bad for Victoria F. She thought she was going on The Bachelor to build her personal brand, gain some Instagram followers, and sell some hair gummies. Instead she got branded with the scarlet letter on national TV. Her life probably isn't ruined — this will blow over eventually — but it's definitely going to be million times more difficult than it was for a while after a former friend accused her of being a homewrecker on national TV. Life comes at you fast, as they say. I bet she wishes she never met Peter Weber, but it's hard to feel too bad for her, because she has such a sour personality and is incapable of taking responsibility for whatever it is she allegedly did, which if you want to know more, Us Weekly has an interview with the whistleblower Merissa Pence that asserts Victoria broke up four marriages.

Before we get to that drama, though, we have to talk about hometown dates! The first hometown was with Hannah Ann, who told Peter she was going to make a real man out of him before she introduces him to her tough-guy father. They threw axes at one of those ax-throwing bars that seem very dangerous to me. What if they ricochet back and hit me? Peter wrote Hannah Ann a nice letter like the one she wrote him. It was sweet. "Oh my word," she said.

They went to Hannah Ann's house, and her mom and sister were very excited. Her dad was not. When he and Peter sat down, he asked him where he sees his relationship with Hannah Ann in comparison to the other women, and Peter told him he wanted to tell her that he was falling in love with her tonight. Mr. Ann was very surprised and unhappy to hear that and asked Peter not to say that to her unless he really meant it. Hannah Ann's dad probably isn't super well-versed in the distinction between "I'm falling in love with you" and "I'm in love with you," so I wonder what he'll think when he sees this. Peter was feeling confident, though, and he told her. Remember, he already told Madison he was falling in love with her last week. Hannah Ann's dad is gonna kill Peter.

Next up was Kelsey. They went to a winery and made their own blend of wine, which is very inappropriate, because Kelsey is an alcoholic, according to Dr. Tammy. ABC is enabling her addiction! She told him she was in love with him, but he didn't say it back. It was hard to get invested in Kelsey's date, because she was clearly in fourth place.

He went to meet Kelsey's family. They gave him crab rangoon, which he had never had before. Things of that nature. Kelsey's mom said don't break my daughter's heart, "do you understand?" I felt a chill go down my spine. Kelsey's mom and Hannah Ann's dad are gonna team up and hunt Peter down after this.

The show zipped through those two uneventful dates. Madison was up next and she showed him around the campus of Auburn University, where her dad is an assistant basketball coach. She grew up in the town of Auburn and went to school there. Auburn's greatest basketball player, Charles Barkley, filmed a welcome video for them that screened on the Jumbotron in the basketball arena. Peter and Madison did some drills and played a little one-on-one. Madison won four state championships in high school, but you can see when she's standing next to Peter that she was too small to play D1 college ball. She still beat him, because Peter is not athletic.

Peter went to have dinner with Madi's family, and Madi got the ceremonial Special Plate of House Prewett, so everyone went around the table and said something nice about her. And then Madi's dad said a very religious grace. They're so religious that they don't drink wine, they drink sweet tea. Madi and her mom talked about how Madi is saving herself for marriage, which she hasn't told Peter before. It's kinda weird that someone as conservatively religious as Madi would go on this heathen show with the guy who had premarital sex in a windmill four times and talked about it on TV in front of his parents, right? Madi's dad asked Peter if he knew if he was going to choose Madi. Peter couldn't answer. Madi's dad told her he wasn't sure if Peter was the man for her, but wasn't sure he wasn't, either. Peter and Madi were both kind of surprised at how difficult it was. Madi wasn't sure if their spirits were compatible, she said in her ITM. She didn't tell him she loved him, or that she was saving herself for marriage.

Finally — with a whole 45 minutes left in the episode — it was time for Victoria F.'s hometown in Virginia Beach. They went to an old-time photo studio, and Victoria seemed to have a good time for the first time on the show. She was a little more relaxed being back in her element. They got ice cream cones and she gave hers to her dog. They got another private country concert, this time with Hunter Hayes, who apparently hadn't had a one night stand with Victoria. Peter knew all the words to Hunter Hayes' song. He's a fan! The words were, "I don't want easy, I want crazy."

Then, Peter ran into a woman named Merissa, who he dated in 2012 before she moved back home to Virginia Beach. She warned him that he "doesn't deserve what he's on a date with." She used to be friends with Victoria, but she isn't anymore. She said there are a lot of relationships among people she knows that have broken up because of Victoria. It was all kind of cryptic, made more so by the fact that Merissa's face was blurred out. But her face being blurred out gave her credibility. She wasn't warning Peter to draw attention to herself, she was warning Peter because she knew he was a nice guy and didn't want him to get hurt.

Later that evening, Victoria was waiting for Peter to arrive at her family's house. She said she was falling in love with him. He arrived and met her in the driveway of the house. He told her he needed to talk to her. He told her he ran into his ex, Merissa, and told her that Merissa said Victoria had broken up relationships. Peter is the perfect patsy for this kind of stuff, because Peter has to dive headfirst into any drama in the worst way. He came at Victoria accusatorially, instead of asking her to give her side of the story, and Victoria took it SO BADLY! She didn't even get defensive, exactly, because she didn't really defend herself, she just walked away. Instead of explaining the situation and giving Peter any clarity about what happened, she said she was done and tried to walk off the show. When it's fight or flight, she chooses flight.

"You ever fight for anything you really want?" Peter asked her, because he's only seen her quit.

"Why are you so willing to stay?" she asked, not unreasonably. If she's so unpleasant and difficult, why is he still so into her? Because he still sees something in her, that's why. He didn't go inside and meet her family, but it wasn't goodbye forever.

The next morning, Peter was distraught. Victoria came to talk to him in his hotel. She told him she was falling in love with him, and he said he felt like she doesn't want him to love her the way he wants to. He's finally catching on. He doesn't have confidence in their future, since Victoria has walked out of every difficult situation so far. "I can't walk away from you," she said. Peter was like "You literally have walked away from me multiple times now." They parted, unresolved.

It was finally time for the rose ceremony, which took place in an aircraft hangar with a red carpet. Peter said he had four amazing women left. Who???? Hannah Ann got the first rose, followed by Madison. So it was down to Kelsey and Victoria. And who do you think he gave it to?

In the final moments of the episode, after he said goodbye to Kelsey and gave a toast to the remaining women, Madison asked to talk to him. She can't take the sex stuff anymore.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC. Episodes are available to stream on Hulu the following day.