<SPAN class="smalltext"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN></SPAN> Mischa Barton, <EM>The O.C.</EM>  Mischa Barton, The O.C.
Dancing with the Stars
Tom Bergeron
was faster than the quickstep with his off-the-cuff humor tonight calling the rowdy audience soccer fans, warning the judges not to tell Drew Lachey

he wasn't "in sync," suggesting that Master P start a line of dancing shoes. I was also tickled by the way George Hamilton was orchestrating all these little soap-operatic scenes for the moments just before the commercial. I'm glad some people are taking the competitive edge off things.

Lisa and Louis: I always thought of the rhumba as Baby and Johnny's dance from Dirty Dancing. Even without the lift, this was much dirtier. But what, dear god, is up with choosing that Elton John song? It had zero beat, making all their Latin-y movements look jerky. Plus the sappy lyrics totally distracted me from the fiery "wild kitten" story they were trying to tell.
Drew and Cheryl: All the pressure of living up to last week's performance actually did them good. They made it look so easy, you'd swear Drew has been quickstepping his whole life.
Tia and Maksim: Which is more gimmicky: Lisa and Louis' pole-dancing lessons or Tia and Maksim's hula dancer? Never mind, because neither made the ladies more at ease. Tia's dress and makeup were gorgeous. I'm still not feeling the concept of this rhumba, though.
George and Edyta: How refreshing to see someone dancing to old-fashioned ballroom music  Fred Astaire's "Top Hat" no less. I don't care that George didn't prance around as quickly as Drew; he was downright entertaining. I even picked up the phone and voted for Team George.
Tatum and Nick: Len said it best: The top was fruity and the bottom was spongey. I saw, like, no footwork. Tatum knew it, too. Her defensive reaction might turn off those voters.
Jerry and Anna: I love the dynamic between these two, and their '20s costumes were the best of the night. But Jerry seemed a lot sharper with his feet in the rehearsal clips than in performance. He's getting there, though.
Stacy and Tony: Oooooh. Now I get the rhumba. Is this graceful woman really a wrestler?
Master P and Ashly: I think it's safe to say that everyone on this show dislikes P. Especially Samantha. He was OK, but the way he kicked away Ashly's gift of shoes was so uncool.
Giselle and Jonathan: Um, I'm only half Latina, and I have way more flavor than Ms. Hasn't Seen a Carb Since 1992. I agree with Len, she looks hard when she dances. She was rather good and was the only woman to do full splits. I'm just saying she's got a way to go before dancing like a Latina. Sabrina Rojas Weiss

Got a burning question for the producers of Dancing with the Stars? Submit it here and you might find the answer in an upcoming issue of TV Guide magazine!