It's been a busy week on the TV scene, so if you feel out of the loop, worry not. Below, we'll talk about the moments that really mattered on the small screen this week and award some fancy (read: completely useless) prizes to some of our favorite moment-makers.
Best Host Who Wasn't a Host: Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler didn't officially host Sunday's Academy Awards, but that didn't stop the trio of real-life friends and former Saturday Night Live cast members from stealing the opening moments of the show. After a misfire of a performance from Adam Lambert and Queen (sorry, Javier Bardem), Fey, Poehler and Rudolph started the Oscars broadcast with a bunch of self-referential jokes that proved, once again, no one can come for their collective crown.
Greatest comeback: The WWE had an eventful week. Dave Bautista made a surprise cameo to do his worst with Ric Flair on Flair's 70th birthday, but it was Roman Reigns who really made a (powerful) power move by dropping by Monday Night Raw to announce that he was back, and his cancer is now in remission. Huzzah Big Dog.
Silliest reality drama: There's been a lot of action in the realm of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — who saw the Nicollette Sheridan-Harry Hamlin feud coming? — but #PuppyGate takes the cake. The crazy conflict emerged this week when Lisa Rinna got into it with Lisa Vanderpump over what happened to Dorit Kemsley's dog (named, with no shred of irony here, Lucy Lucy Apple Juice), who ended up in the shelter after being given away by Dorit for nipping her husband PK. It wasn't the condition of the dog she was concerned with, though. It was the fact that the info got out that irked Rinna most, as she accused LVP of "slipping" by orchestrating an "obvious" publicity stunt. Then the "LVP quits Housewives" rumors started flaring, and the matter had spiraled completely out of control. Gotta love it.
Wackest rap: On this week's episode of The Bachelor, Hannah G. broke out her rapping... erm... skills at the dinner table, with her dad pitching in to beatbox in the background as Colton looked on in thinly veiled horror. It was gloriously messy stuff.
Best renewal: As glad as we are for the teams behind all the shows renewed this week — including Star Trek: Discovery, Hell's Kitchen and all of One Chicago — the renewal that really has us amped is Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which will officially return on NBC for a seventh season (its second on the network since the comedy was initially canceled by Fox).
Most anticlimactic finale: The identities of the remaining stars on The Masked Singer were revealed this week, and, as has become custom for this show over the last few weeks, there were exactly zero surprises to be found beneath those zany masks. Maybe next year they can actually fool us.
Raddest fake fight: On Star Trek: Discovery this week, Captain Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh) and Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) staged a fight to smuggle Spock (Ethan Peck) off Section 31's ship. When Georgiou said she wanted it to look real, she meant it — and what commenced was nothing short of spectacular. Burnham did not hold back one bit as she punched the captain in the gut and smashed her head through some glass.
Best binge: Amazon Prime is debuting its new Kate Beckinsale series The Widow on March 1, and Hulu has a new Jimmi Simpson-starring episode of Into The Dark, called "Treehouse," on deck for that day as well. Or you can spend the weekend learning to dance your way into another dimension by rewatching/finally tuning in to The OA on Netflix so that you'll be ready for Season 2, which makes its long-awaited debut on March 22.