The summer swelter is in full swing, and the TV scene is as hot as ever right now because, believe it or not, there are other things to talk about besides Stranger Things. Here we'll run through some of the most stand-out moments of the week on the small screen, from the reality show moments that gave us a gasp to some dramatic reveals we won't soon forget.
Most dramatic exit: If the latest installment of Southern Charm: New Orleans gave you a bit of déjà vu, there's a reason. After a successful and spirited showing at Barry Smith's fashion show, Jeff decided to imbibe a few too many and wound up running away from producers while slinging four-letter words and bemoaning the lack of love from his friends. Why? Well, it seems that everyone was right and that Jeff's insistence on pretending things were fine after his split with Reagan finally caught up with him. It's a shame that what was looking to be a great night for Jeff, who seemed to have a promising connection to Tamica's friend Tanya, fell apart so quickly and that Jeff hadn't learned anything from the last time he drunkenly ran off into the night, scaring his friends half to death. Dr. Jekyll had become Mr. Hyde once more.
Creepiest kid: If you're in the market for a new version of Medium, The InBetween is where it's at, but do be warned: The show tends to get pretty dark and doesn't mind challenging audience sensitivities to violence against children. The latest episode was especially upsetting as the ghost of one little kid came back to describe to the show's reluctant clairvoyant (played by Harriet Dyer), in ghastly detail, how disappointed she was in her mother for letting her body be cremated. This ain't Casper the Friendly Ghost is all we're saying.
Biggest womp: After weeks of teasers and speculation, it turns out that the stars of Breaking Bad were more in character than fans might've expected, because they were ultimately just trying to sell something: their own artisanal tequila brand. And it's not even blue! Yep, that secret collaboration Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston had been previewing with so many cryptic photos wasn't about the movie or a Better Call Saul cameo or even some other unrelated screen project. It was just one long, drawn-out booze advertisement. And here we thought Heisenberg was savage.
Lamest unmasking: The Scream reboot you forgot was happening, Scream: Resurrection, aired in a three-night event this week, and, well, at least this thing didn't get dragged out beyond. After Jamal (Tyga) revealed that he'd been slicing and dicing his way through a jealous stepbrother revenge scheme, he kindly informed us all that he didn't work alone. Soon after, Beth (Giorgina Wingham) revealed herself to be the true brains behind all the murders, saying she was motivated by... a fascination with fright flicks? Beth stumbled through an explanation like so: "I was born bad... I always knew I was a sociopath. I mean, why do you think I love horror movies so much? I watched every single one I could get my hands on, until I realized it just wasn't enough. Why should Michael Myers get to have all the fun when I could be a better monster?" Although she dubbed that line a "killer monologue, literally," it was actually a pretty cheap undermining of the franchise's seminal rule that it's not the movies that turn people into killers. Wes Craven would never.
Most revolting backstory: It was time to learn Aunt Lydia's (Ann Dowd) backstory on the latest episode of The Handmaid's Tale, as Hulu's tentpole drama finally revealed how Gilead's faithful handmaid wrangler became so heinous. As it turns out, she used to be a school teacher who took a special interest in a boy whose stretched-thin mother engaged in a profession she didn't quite approve of (dancing). At first, she tried to play nice and befriend the mom, who gave her a makeover and encouraged her to follow her heart. After a date didn't end as happily as she might've hoped, though, Lydia scrubbed off the cosmetics and accused the young mom of neglecting the boy, thus beginning her terrible reign as an oppressor. A lover scorned story? Really?
Slyest shipper: Have you checked out Love Island USA yet? If so, you might've noticed that one of the most popular male suitors, Michael, just so happened to be a massive Lostie — which may be why he fits right into the show's tropical locale so well. After touting himself as a massive animal lover, Michael introduced everyone to his pair of pooches, French bulldogs lovingly named Kate and Sawyer. Those might seem like ordinary names to anyone who didn't crash-land with Oceanic Flight 815, but for everyone who did, that's a bold statement our new pal had just made with his fur babies' monikers. Here's hoping he doesn't end up paired with someone who's Team Juliet or Team Jack.
Most disorienting opening act: NBC's newest competition series Bring the Funny got off to a good start this week, with a series of comedic acts that ranged from your traditional one-person stand-up sets to group gags that really sang. There was one act in particular that seemed to have judges Kenan Thompson, Chrissy Teigen, and Jeff Foxworthy's chuckles sounding more nervous than the rest: Mister Zed, the robotic comedian who short-circuits mid-way through his routine and is just unplugged enough that you might wonder whether he really is man or machine. The future is now. And it's very weird, guys.