On Monday's episode of The Bachelorette, Lucas, aka Whaboom, and Blake E.'s toxic bromance reached a climax after Rachel eliminated them both during the rose ceremony, and their exit interviews devolved into mocking imitations like children do to annoy each other. It was so stupid and it ruled.
Whaboom and Lucas have a history together from before The Bachelorette. They both appeared on a WE dating reality show called Ex Isle, where they didn't like each other. Lucas' ex-girlfriend is Blake's roommate, and she seems to be on bad terms with both of them. So they took that bad blood with them onto the show, and Blake had been trying to get Whaboom kicked off since night one. Whaboom, for his part, just wanted to act goofy and sell some t-shirts.
But during the episode — which saw Whaboom claim that he woke up and saw Blake standing over him suggestively eating a banana and Blake refuting that claim by saying it couldn't have been him since he doesn't eat carbs — Rachel decided she'd had enough of both of them.
Blake blamed Whaboom for ruining it for him. He thought he would have had a chance with Rachel if Whaboom didn't undermine him. (He's wrong; he could have ignored Whaboom and focused on playing his own game. Also, he has a gross personality and Rachel was never going to pick him.) When Blake interrupted Whaboom's exit interview, all hell broke loose.
"I just want to say f--- you bro, you're a piece of sh--, you're here for the wrong reasons, I got drug into your bulls---, I see right through you, I know why you're here, and it kills me," Blake said before Whaboom interrupted him.
"Why am I here?" said Whaboom, speaking in a Southern accent for some reason.
"You're here to be on f---ing TV," Blake responded.
The expression shouldn't be "the pot calling the kettle black," it should be "one reality show contestant criticizing another for wanting to be on TV."
"You win, Lucas," said Blake. "Whaboom."
"The thing is, it's not about winning. It's about the world, brother," Whaboom retorted, cryptically, as Blake was walking away. "And you have no idea what the world means." It must be noted that Whaboom may have been blackout drunk.
Then it devolved into name-calling and sub-verbal mockery, except for when Blake said "You're the whaboom clown, I'm the nice gentleman."
It was one of the most troglodytic moments I've ever seen on TV. I was crying laughing. I was also crying laughing at the video above made by TVGuide.com video producer Westin Eehn, which immortalizes this historic sequence by giving it a catchy, Justin Bieber-ish beat. Enjoy.
If these guys don't continue their feud in Paradise, I'm not watching.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.